Well, I know I live with my family so you'd think I would be used to their entertainment value by now, but I am definitely not.
Anyway, these awesome days started with Tuesday. I woke up, got ready, and then had to trade cars with my mom so I could drive to Beaver since I don't trust mine to get me there safely. So I drove to her school to trade and left my car in the back for her. As I was walking to her classroom and ran in to (not literally) my mom's most awesome friend who also teaches there. She saw me, gave me a hug, and told me it made my day to see me. It made me smile. Oh, and that she wanted a necklace just like the one I was wearing. She is a pretty good supporter of my jewelry making hobby. Anyway, then I saw my mom, got her car keys and a coat (as I had forgotten mine) and went off to her car. Then I realized that I had locked my violin in my car. Boo. So I went back in through the wind to get my keys and get my violin out of my car. My mom graciously offered to go out with me this time so I wouldn't have to run back into the school again (phew). Then I went to get gas and had a rather uneventful drive to Beaver.
I taught three lessons out there. My first student struggled with vibrato. My second struggled with her pessimistic attitude. My third, however, was stinking hilarious. She is five and adorable. It's kind of hard to explain her humor when you don't know my teaching methods, but I will try to explain.
I was teaching her a technique called "tunnel fingers" which enables the player to make smooth string changes with no pauses and to play double stops later on. The idea is to put the right fingers on one string only, and in this case, while a note on a higher string is being played. It is quite tricky.
I was explaining to her what a tunnel was as she had never been in one before, and must have been doing poorly, because she said "Oh, like an igloo!" and giggled. I said it was like an igloo with the ends cut off that you drive through. And the E string was the road and we were making a tunnel on the A string. So she tried it and said "It's a lot easier to make an igloo!" when he fingers collapsed onto her E string, and giggled. So cute. But she did keep trying and is off to a good start.
Then I drove home. It was rather uneventful, except for watching the sky change with the clouds coming in.
When I got home, my mom and I decided it would be a good idea to go to the grocery store before it snowed a lot and I wanted to go to JoAnn for some jewelry supplies, so we made the list and went on our way. We got to the top of the road and she realized she had an interview with the bishopric in a half hour. So we thought we would see how fast we could do the shopping. We battled the crowds, chose a turkey and other food and checked out in just under 20 minutes. We are that skilled.
We got to the church a little early and saw this cute old couple that we see at concerts a lot. They always wear matching clothes. They sat across from us in the little waiting room. We observed the husband help the wife out of her jacket. Then my mom had to leave me, and I got to observe the couple by myself.
First, they were asked by the ward clerk to take pictures of the ward members at tithing settlement. The wife said that would be good but then had a concern. She wondered if the "manual choke" would work after sitting in the cold for over three hours. I, being a child of the technology saturated age, had no clue what she was talking about. Turns out it was the choke on their vehicle. Ah, that I had heard about. Then her husband offered to put an electric choke on it for her. She said "How does that work?" He says "you just turn the key." She responded "Oh, I could do that" and laughed. It just cracked me up.
With that matter settled, the clerk left and it was just me and those two. They sat mostly in silence, occasionally looking at each other and giggling faintly. But then the following conversation between them happened:
"Would you like me to hold your hat dear?"
"Oh yes, that would be good. You can even keep your other knee warm with it (giggles)." (He had his matching red and black plaid hat on one knee).
So she hands it to her thoughtful husband and he puts it on his other knee. After a moment of silence, she giggles a little, and says,
"Look, they're knee hats!" They both chuckle.
"They look an awful lot like normal hats!" More chuckling.
I thought the exchange was both funny and cute.
Soon after, my mom reappeared and we left the couple for JoAnn. We found and purchased a couple ornaments. It is tradition that each child gets a new ornament every year until they get married. Then we went to the jewelry stuff, found lots of awesome things, except, of course, what I needed. We went home.
Yesterday we decided it was pajama day. So we cleaned the house in our pajamas. My mom and Michelle had trouble moving the furniture and eventually (after trying out about 3 other arrangements) just moved the piano and love seat over. It was amusing. Then those two decided to buy a new Christmas tree and get some other things from Wal-Mart. Since I didn't want to get out of my pajamas, I agreed to stay behind and fix lunch.
After lunch, we cleaned another room and watched Keith Urban music videos and admired his general sexiness. After dinner, we finished cleaning the room and decided to watch a movie. Michelle had never seen the Count of Monte Cristo so we decided to change that. But then I got a text from my friend who has a side job co-hosting a radio show saying that I needed to listen in. Of course I couldn't resist this invitation, so I tuned in. He had some of his friends in and they did a special live segment of the show. He and his friend (mine too) sang a funny song about beards. It said their friends liked their beards but they hadn't touched a girl in a long time. I thought it funny. Then my friend's friend's girlfriend sang a song that I really really liked. I will try to find a way to post it here later.
Then I went back to the movie. It was a good night.
This morning we had a muffin breakfast and set up our tree. It's always fun to put up the ornament we have collected over the years. I have big pink shiny heart ornament, a frog angel, a Little Pony, several violins, and a couple fairies.
Now we are just waiting for the turkey! Happy thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Carl's Wedding!
That's right, my older brother is married! It's been a couple months now, but I shall share with you the events that led up to and the adventures that accompanied my big brother's wedding.
Since my grandma is able to go to the temple now, but unable to get herself places, my mom and I went to pick her up. So we went to Ely, put her in the car, and took her to Las Vegas.
In Vegas, my mom and I and my aunt Peggy and Emilie went on a grand adventure! We had tickets to go see the Michael Buble show! I am not a great fan of jazz music (at all), but I was fun. Before the concert, we went to a few stores on the strip. My mom bought me a pearl necklace that I adore. (I do love pearls. They are classy and elegant without being too flashy.) We ate dinner, then made our way through the maze of the MGM (here is the lion outside of it)
to go to the concert!
We did have to wait. For a long long time. But we kept ourselves entertained quite well, I assure you.
The warm-up band was Naturally 7 (please see side bar for videos) and they totally rocked! I really enjoyed their performance. Then, with a big dramatic entrance, Michael Buble appeared! He sang beautifully, and was funny, and the British people in front of us were quite hilarious. My mom and I, unfortunately, epic failed at working the camcorder, so we got no video, which is kind of tragic. Oh well, I'm over it. Getting out of the concert was a mess, but we made it. It was late. Here's the Excalibur hotel at night:
We had a week at home and then BAM! We were off the Arizona in a rented van to go to the wedding. It was a long drive, but due to my fantastic taste in music that I so unselfishly share with my family (that is partially true actually. I like to share stuff that excites me, and music does) and my dad's patient tolerance of said music, and coloring books and colored pencils, we had a pretty fun trip. We stayed in little dumpy town a half hour from Snowflake (called Holbrook) in a rather dumpy, but not quite disgusting, motel. After adventures in the pool and eating dinner and trying not to fuss over grandma who was sick, we went to sleep.
The next morning, we went in two packs to the temple. The first pack included those who were to attend the ceremony. The second was for those who would greet them outside. I was the chauffeur for this group. I was nervous since I have hardly driven outside of my home town, but it was a really easy (and quite dull) drive. Oh, Snowflake isn't named after weather, but after the Snow and Flake families who settled it. I bet you're SO glad I told you that. Here is a picture of the temple:
The ceremony attendees came out looking very happy. My mom told me how very beautiful it was, and has told me since how amazing temple marriage is. I never doubted it, but it's always good to be reminded. Then my mom dragged me and my sisters into the front doors (and I was thinking I was going to be struck down at any moment) to show us the stained glass. It was beautiful. The temple workers gave us a paper that told the story of where it came from. I bet you'll never guess. The Catholic Church gave it to the LDS church. It was quite amazing.
Then the bride and groom made their grand exit (actually, it wasn't really all that grand. They looked kind of awkward and overwhelmed). Picture:
Then we took lots and lots of pictures. Here is a picture of both families:
And just my family:
And the new marrieds:
(The tragically almost good picture.)
(John is a great purse holder for bride and groom stalkers.)
After that, we went to a pretty old church meeting place for a luncheon. It was fun and intimate. Here they are again:
Oh, and I was very entertained by my ice, as you will see.
Then my family went back to Holbrook, changed clothes, and ventured off the the Petrified Forest National Park. We had a lot of fun trying (and failing) to resist the temptation to take a little bitty piece of petrified wood, and my mom bought me a pretty purple pot. Here are some pictures from that day:
That's a fire pit inside a pueblo called Agate House.
More of the Agate House.
The next day we had nothing to do in particular in the morning, so we went back to the park, from the opposite end. That end showed more of the Painted Desert. Pictures:
That's the park's inn.
Yes, he was moody that day. But the Puerco Pueblo and Petroglyphs cheered him up a bit:
We went back to the hotel to get ready for the reception that was a couple hours away when we ran into a problem. New Mexico time is an hour ahead of Arizona time, so we were running an hour behind! But with some teamwork (meaning Michelle blowed my hair dry while I applied makeup) we left on time. Here is a picture of a cool mesa we saw on the way there:
We got there early and had some difficulty finding the bride's parents' home, but got there eventually. We changed there and headed to the brides' sister's house where the reception was held outside. It was such a fun reception! I think almost everybody who attended were related to the bride, so it was a family reunion thing. Her family made my little family feel very included though, dancing us around the porch until we were dizzy and telling us stories. I loved the moment when one of her uncles sang some of her grandpa's songs. It was touching to have the grandpa included in that special way.
We made the long drive home and went to bed. The next morning we got up, fought for the waffle maker with some other hotel guests (I was there first, I swear), and got on the road. The only eventful thing about the drive home was stopping at Lake Powell for lunch. I got a few pictures, but I picked this one at random to share:
A couple weeks later we had an open house in Orem. Carl's army buddies and some of my family were there. I have to admit that I didn't have much fun. It was good to see my not-so-little anymore cousins and my aunt that I hadn't seen for a handful of years, but I did more serving than socializing while everyone else did more socializing than serving. Oh well, the punch bowl stayed full.
The end!
Since my grandma is able to go to the temple now, but unable to get herself places, my mom and I went to pick her up. So we went to Ely, put her in the car, and took her to Las Vegas.
In Vegas, my mom and I and my aunt Peggy and Emilie went on a grand adventure! We had tickets to go see the Michael Buble show! I am not a great fan of jazz music (at all), but I was fun. Before the concert, we went to a few stores on the strip. My mom bought me a pearl necklace that I adore. (I do love pearls. They are classy and elegant without being too flashy.) We ate dinner, then made our way through the maze of the MGM (here is the lion outside of it)
to go to the concert!
We did have to wait. For a long long time. But we kept ourselves entertained quite well, I assure you.
The warm-up band was Naturally 7 (please see side bar for videos) and they totally rocked! I really enjoyed their performance. Then, with a big dramatic entrance, Michael Buble appeared! He sang beautifully, and was funny, and the British people in front of us were quite hilarious. My mom and I, unfortunately, epic failed at working the camcorder, so we got no video, which is kind of tragic. Oh well, I'm over it. Getting out of the concert was a mess, but we made it. It was late. Here's the Excalibur hotel at night:
We had a week at home and then BAM! We were off the Arizona in a rented van to go to the wedding. It was a long drive, but due to my fantastic taste in music that I so unselfishly share with my family (that is partially true actually. I like to share stuff that excites me, and music does) and my dad's patient tolerance of said music, and coloring books and colored pencils, we had a pretty fun trip. We stayed in little dumpy town a half hour from Snowflake (called Holbrook) in a rather dumpy, but not quite disgusting, motel. After adventures in the pool and eating dinner and trying not to fuss over grandma who was sick, we went to sleep.
The next morning, we went in two packs to the temple. The first pack included those who were to attend the ceremony. The second was for those who would greet them outside. I was the chauffeur for this group. I was nervous since I have hardly driven outside of my home town, but it was a really easy (and quite dull) drive. Oh, Snowflake isn't named after weather, but after the Snow and Flake families who settled it. I bet you're SO glad I told you that. Here is a picture of the temple:
The ceremony attendees came out looking very happy. My mom told me how very beautiful it was, and has told me since how amazing temple marriage is. I never doubted it, but it's always good to be reminded. Then my mom dragged me and my sisters into the front doors (and I was thinking I was going to be struck down at any moment) to show us the stained glass. It was beautiful. The temple workers gave us a paper that told the story of where it came from. I bet you'll never guess. The Catholic Church gave it to the LDS church. It was quite amazing.
Then the bride and groom made their grand exit (actually, it wasn't really all that grand. They looked kind of awkward and overwhelmed). Picture:
Then we took lots and lots of pictures. Here is a picture of both families:
And just my family:
And the new marrieds:
(The tragically almost good picture.)
(John is a great purse holder for bride and groom stalkers.)
After that, we went to a pretty old church meeting place for a luncheon. It was fun and intimate. Here they are again:
Oh, and I was very entertained by my ice, as you will see.
Then my family went back to Holbrook, changed clothes, and ventured off the the Petrified Forest National Park. We had a lot of fun trying (and failing) to resist the temptation to take a little bitty piece of petrified wood, and my mom bought me a pretty purple pot. Here are some pictures from that day:
That's a fire pit inside a pueblo called Agate House.
More of the Agate House.
The next day we had nothing to do in particular in the morning, so we went back to the park, from the opposite end. That end showed more of the Painted Desert. Pictures:
That's the park's inn.
Yes, he was moody that day. But the Puerco Pueblo and Petroglyphs cheered him up a bit:
We went back to the hotel to get ready for the reception that was a couple hours away when we ran into a problem. New Mexico time is an hour ahead of Arizona time, so we were running an hour behind! But with some teamwork (meaning Michelle blowed my hair dry while I applied makeup) we left on time. Here is a picture of a cool mesa we saw on the way there:
We got there early and had some difficulty finding the bride's parents' home, but got there eventually. We changed there and headed to the brides' sister's house where the reception was held outside. It was such a fun reception! I think almost everybody who attended were related to the bride, so it was a family reunion thing. Her family made my little family feel very included though, dancing us around the porch until we were dizzy and telling us stories. I loved the moment when one of her uncles sang some of her grandpa's songs. It was touching to have the grandpa included in that special way.
We made the long drive home and went to bed. The next morning we got up, fought for the waffle maker with some other hotel guests (I was there first, I swear), and got on the road. The only eventful thing about the drive home was stopping at Lake Powell for lunch. I got a few pictures, but I picked this one at random to share:
A couple weeks later we had an open house in Orem. Carl's army buddies and some of my family were there. I have to admit that I didn't have much fun. It was good to see my not-so-little anymore cousins and my aunt that I hadn't seen for a handful of years, but I did more serving than socializing while everyone else did more socializing than serving. Oh well, the punch bowl stayed full.
The end!
"I cannot say the smallest part which I feel. . ."
(Alma 26:16- Ammon speaking of not being able to put into words all the joy he felt.)
Unfortunately, it isn't joy that I cannot say the smallest part of. I wasn't going to mention anything of it in my blog, but I feel the need to put it somewhere. It's something that has hurt me and others quite deeply. But some of my feelings cannot be expressed here. Some of my feelings cannot be expressed. These feelings are due to a choice that someone dear to me and my family has made that separates them from the things that are truly, honestly, eternally good, right and true. (Yes, truly true. That was a good one.)
Let me just say that I currently feel all of the following things, though not usually all at the same time. Imagine watching a carousel. The same things go around and around, nothing appears all at once, though some things do appear together. But this carousel doesn't have horses or sea creatures (like in my California post) but a variety of emotions:
Hurt.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Numbness.
Betrayal.
Gratitude.
Sorrow.
Guilt.
Hurt & Sorrow.
Numbness & Shame.
Guilt.
Jealousy.
Loneliness.
(Oh geez, iTunes is playing a song called Carousel by Norah Jones. Creepy.) Though some of these feelings are a direct result of the choice this loved one made, a great many of them appeared upon reflection on the situation. The process of collecting them all has gone something like this.
When I first learned about the situation, I felt anger. Anger to be burdened with it. Angry that it happened. Angry that it had been hidden for so long. Anger. Then I felt hurt. Couldn't they feel like they could talk to me about it, and possibly have made a better choice? Then sorrow. The choice can't bring joy. To anyone. Then I felt a sense of betrayal. How could they? After they had been given so much, how could they just give it all up? Then more anger. How could they think the rules, the laws of heaven, truth, could be changed for them? Then guilt for assuming they thought that. I have no right to judge.
After a little more reflection, the jealousy came. The choice they made, though wrong, gives them a chance at something I have wanted for some time. I feel so horribly jealous. I see their facade of happiness and it makes me jealous. Then I feel guilty for feeling jealous. After I realize how irrational the jealousy is, I feel gratitude for having lived as I should. I am grateful for the blessings I have received for trying to live in accordance with what I KNOW to be true. Not that I am as strong as, say, the Lamanites who "were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin" (Alma 24:19). Then I feel sorrow again because of the deprivation of blessings this person will experience (at least for the time being). Then came the numbness trying to block it all out and act normally for my students, orchestra members, family, etc.
Once I let go of the numbness, all the previously mentioned emotions cloud over me again. Then I try to think of someone to talk to about all this because I am tired of the numbness, and I can think of nobody to tell. I have a wonderful supportive family to talk to, but I have heard from their lips most everything I would say, and am still feeling reservations about sharing my personal feelings, and they don't need to be burdened with anything else. I have a few friends, some who would be willing to listen, but some of them I don't feel comfortable opening up completely, and some I hesitate to talk to because I don't want to open up such a level of intimacy. Then I feel dreadfully lonely. Lonely. Lonely. If only I had a confidante.
Then voila, I remember something wonderful! Then I pray for forgiveness and to be able to forgive. Guilt. I ask to be free from the betrayal, anger, jealousy, and guilt. I express all the hidden things I feel and know that though some of these things are totally selfish, I am still a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father. And my Savior loves me and will help take the burden away and be cleansed from all my selfish feelings.
I feel lots better, and I feel gratitude for the power of prayer and for a loving Father in Heaven who listens and a Savior who mediates on my behalf. So very grateful.
But I still feel lonely. I still want to be able to tell someone all these things. I want to be able to cry on their shoulder and have them hold me. Not even necessarily a male. Just a friend. But I am so blasted reserved and shy that I can't think of anyone to do this with. So I feel more gratitude for prayer. And more loneliness. Ick.
Anyway, if you read this post and wish to help, you can pray for my family, and the good person who made a bad choice. And maybe for people everywhere in the same plight.
The end.
Unfortunately, it isn't joy that I cannot say the smallest part of. I wasn't going to mention anything of it in my blog, but I feel the need to put it somewhere. It's something that has hurt me and others quite deeply. But some of my feelings cannot be expressed here. Some of my feelings cannot be expressed. These feelings are due to a choice that someone dear to me and my family has made that separates them from the things that are truly, honestly, eternally good, right and true. (Yes, truly true. That was a good one.)
Let me just say that I currently feel all of the following things, though not usually all at the same time. Imagine watching a carousel. The same things go around and around, nothing appears all at once, though some things do appear together. But this carousel doesn't have horses or sea creatures (like in my California post) but a variety of emotions:
Hurt.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Numbness.
Betrayal.
Gratitude.
Sorrow.
Guilt.
Hurt & Sorrow.
Numbness & Shame.
Guilt.
Jealousy.
Loneliness.
(Oh geez, iTunes is playing a song called Carousel by Norah Jones. Creepy.) Though some of these feelings are a direct result of the choice this loved one made, a great many of them appeared upon reflection on the situation. The process of collecting them all has gone something like this.
When I first learned about the situation, I felt anger. Anger to be burdened with it. Angry that it happened. Angry that it had been hidden for so long. Anger. Then I felt hurt. Couldn't they feel like they could talk to me about it, and possibly have made a better choice? Then sorrow. The choice can't bring joy. To anyone. Then I felt a sense of betrayal. How could they? After they had been given so much, how could they just give it all up? Then more anger. How could they think the rules, the laws of heaven, truth, could be changed for them? Then guilt for assuming they thought that. I have no right to judge.
After a little more reflection, the jealousy came. The choice they made, though wrong, gives them a chance at something I have wanted for some time. I feel so horribly jealous. I see their facade of happiness and it makes me jealous. Then I feel guilty for feeling jealous. After I realize how irrational the jealousy is, I feel gratitude for having lived as I should. I am grateful for the blessings I have received for trying to live in accordance with what I KNOW to be true. Not that I am as strong as, say, the Lamanites who "were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin" (Alma 24:19). Then I feel sorrow again because of the deprivation of blessings this person will experience (at least for the time being). Then came the numbness trying to block it all out and act normally for my students, orchestra members, family, etc.
Once I let go of the numbness, all the previously mentioned emotions cloud over me again. Then I try to think of someone to talk to about all this because I am tired of the numbness, and I can think of nobody to tell. I have a wonderful supportive family to talk to, but I have heard from their lips most everything I would say, and am still feeling reservations about sharing my personal feelings, and they don't need to be burdened with anything else. I have a few friends, some who would be willing to listen, but some of them I don't feel comfortable opening up completely, and some I hesitate to talk to because I don't want to open up such a level of intimacy. Then I feel dreadfully lonely. Lonely. Lonely. If only I had a confidante.
Then voila, I remember something wonderful! Then I pray for forgiveness and to be able to forgive. Guilt. I ask to be free from the betrayal, anger, jealousy, and guilt. I express all the hidden things I feel and know that though some of these things are totally selfish, I am still a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father. And my Savior loves me and will help take the burden away and be cleansed from all my selfish feelings.
I feel lots better, and I feel gratitude for the power of prayer and for a loving Father in Heaven who listens and a Savior who mediates on my behalf. So very grateful.
But I still feel lonely. I still want to be able to tell someone all these things. I want to be able to cry on their shoulder and have them hold me. Not even necessarily a male. Just a friend. But I am so blasted reserved and shy that I can't think of anyone to do this with. So I feel more gratitude for prayer. And more loneliness. Ick.
Anyway, if you read this post and wish to help, you can pray for my family, and the good person who made a bad choice. And maybe for people everywhere in the same plight.
The end.
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