Senior Recital!

When I started playing the violin, I wanted to a be a professional soloist. Later on, I knew that wasn't really realistic, but I then I found out that music majors got to do a senior recital and I thought that sounded way fun! So I did become a music major, and I did my senior recital this Saturday. Lots of practicing, planning, and dreaming went into it, and it went almost as well as I had hoped it would.

That big nerve racking thing was that the entire week before my recital I was sick. My muscles were really weak and so I didn't practice more than a couple hours that week. Despite that difficulty, I was able to practice week this last week. In fact, my dress rehearsal was amazing! Bah! I wish I had recorded it, but that's ok.

This last Thursday, I started feeling ill like I had just a week before and on Friday I had a lot of the same symptoms so I was getting really worried that I would be sick for my recital. But I tried to eat well and get good rest and nutrients and all that good stuff, and I prayed for the faith to trust that I would be well for my recital, and voila! I was just a little bit dizzy, but not shaky or weak or nauseous, so I was relieved.

I wanted my recital to be extra special, so I did a little extra decorating to add that special touch.

The refreshment table, minus the cake

The program table, obviously

It was a little rough getting started, since nobody was available to do stage managing and my recordist canceled last minute. Fortunately, Mike Wallace stepped in to record and did the lights, and Dr. Bradshaw moved the piano when it was time, and Michelle gave the opening welcome speech. She delivered it very well, in fact. Then the recital went quite smoothly. I didn't make any horrible mistakes, but I still wished my last one went a little better. Oh well! At the end, I got a standing ovation starting with Jae, my former landlady. John came up to give me flowers and tried to run off stage fast, but I called to him and gave him a come hither look and gave him a hug.

Afterward, it was fun to see all the people who came to support me, and be with my family, and eat the food that me and others had worked hard to prepare and that Michelle and her friends put out for me. Here are some of the best photos of the people at the recital:

Colleen Dowse, high school orchestra teacher

Vicki and Jonathan Heaton, owners of Whittlestick's, and pretty much family.

David Armijo, one of my students, and a family friend

Chris and Kara Carter. Kara has been my friend since high school, and I was a bridesmaid at her wedding.

Professor Sun, my violin teacher of six years.

Amanda Munford, friend, fellow violinist, newly returned missionary, and sister of my first violin teacher.

My long time student Linda and her three grandkids. The shy little girl is also my student.

My aunt Margaret. I do see the resemblance between us.

Heather Burton, good friend and fellow violinist. Also a returned missionary.

Brady and Jae Price, my most recent landlords. I would rent from them again if I had money.

Rhonda's mom. I honestly don't know her name, but she is very sweet.

Rhonda Shearer, a good friend and supporter.

Patty Walser, a great teacher in the community.

The whole fam! Including my aunt Peggy and Grandma.

Me and Em.

John. He tried to hug me so many times, the goof.

Well, that's the end of this blog! Tune in again later.

Gradumation and Stuff

Well, I guess the big news is that I graduated! Sort of. But I will get to that in a minute, because the best story of my blog will sound quite anticlimactic if I don’t back up a little.

After spring break, my body rebelled against my busy schedule. I had trouble sleeping, my stomach hurt, I had heartburn often, headaches, dizziness, trouble with short term memory, and I was cold a lot. So to make it through, I basically shut out everyone and everything. I could really only handle myself and my own problems. I visited my family a lot and they kept me smiling.

Anyway, because of all those things, I wasn’t exactly excelling in my classes. I had mostly music classes and my professors were very understanding and kind and helped me get through. My violin teacher, of course, was the most helpful and getting me through class and getting me ready for my recital and still giving me responsibilities and ways to help. But the person whose help meant the most to me was the department chair’s (and the teacher of one of my classes). He had every reason to believe that I was a slacker, being given unfair advantages, and other things people were saying I was, but for some reason, he trusted me and got me through the class. Not only that, but he covered for me when I was too late to have an accompanist at my recital, and sat on my preview committee so I would have enough members (this is not normally one of his jobs as department chair). If it hadn’t been for his incredible kindness I would not have made it. That is no exaggeration.

Those who know me know that I do not like being dependent on others, so although I did make it through the semester and was able to walk in graduation, I was feeling quite insignificant and unaccomplished and unremarkable and exhausted. Even at the graduation ceremony, where most of the graduates (looking quite ridiculous actually) were excited, relieved, and a multitude of other great feelings, I was really confused. I was happy to be there, but also very undeserving. However, I put my game face on though and let others be excited for me and celebrate with me.
Since I lived so close to the Centrum, my family and I walked to the ceremony.











These are tulips in a neighbor's yard that I took after graduation.

On the walk back to my apartment, we passed by my neighbor’s house. This neighbor has a beautiful yard (and house) and I had noticed before, but I had never seen the owner. At this moment he was outside doing some work. Now, I will paraphrase the little 30 second exchange the followed:

I said “we (meaning my family and I) like your flowers.”

He replied “I will give you one.”

I was taken by surprise, and still feeling rather insignificant and unremarkable, said in my most grateful voice “Oh no, it’s ok, they can stay in their place.” I didn’t see any reason why I should have some of his beautiful flowers.
He then said something like “It’s fine, let me get you one.”
He took a knife from his keys and cut not one, but three perfect pink tulips. I was standing approximately twenty feet away from him, and he walked over and handed them to me, and said “Congratulations.” I, of course, said “Thank you.”

I continued on my walk home with my flowers. I put them away and went to dinner with my family, which was good fun. I really love them so much. After dinner, I took pictures of my beautiful flowers, and realized just how much they meant to me. My neighbor’s simple kind gesture reminded me that I was loved, that I was special, and that I was of great worth. I know it sounds funny, but it really meant so much to me. I wondered if he was inspired to offer them, or even to be outside, or perhaps if he just had enough love in his heart to want to give his beautiful flowers to a perfect stranger. No matter what it was, I will always remember how special it made me feel.






I had graduation the next morning, and was able to attend it with much more cheerfulness. My family was there again, and I was happy for their support. I enjoyed being with all the excited music graduates and seeing my professors who had taught me so much. The ceremony ended all too soon, which sounds funny, but it meant one thing:

Time to move out.

Which equaled lots of packing and cleaning. It was NOT fun. My lovely mother helped a lot, and I mean A LOT. I got everything packed up, cleaned up, and got checked out of my apartment in about 5 hours. Then I went to the school to do my recital preview. That is where 3 faculty members listen to me perform my program and determine if I am ready to perform or not. It’s rather stressful. But after the day of cleaning, several bananas and some vitamin water, I felt good to go. I didn’t play anywhere near my best, but I did pass.

Oh, come to my recital on May 22, 7:30, Thorley Recital Hall, if you can!

It has been nice to be home again. I have enjoyed the free time. I can read again! It’s fantastic. During the semester I can’t read recreationally, because I try to read novels like they were text books. I have felt more like myself in general, since I haven’t had to block people out anymore. I have been able to be excited for my friends who are getting married, sympathize with my sister’s struggles, and I was even able to help a friend register for school. I know those things don’t sound very remarkable, but for the last two years I haven’t felt much like myself, and these small things assured me that I am still here!

The end.